To me, kindness means to accept and hold yourself and others as a whole, resourceful and capable person. It also means being honest, being open-minded and to be non-judgemental. I know, it’s a lot to take in ;) Just let this sink in for a minute…
I’m speaking for myself when I say, it’s a lot easier for me to be kind to others than it is to be kind to myself (and I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in this). When I see someone struggling my first instinct is to not judge and to lend a helping hand. To empower that person and make them see how awesome he or she is. Or when I see someone accomplish something, I want to acknowledge them and tell them how happy I am for them.
So why is it so hard to do these things for myself? Because I don’t want to be perceived as a failure, so I beat myself up when something isn’t immediately perfect. And when I’m doing something good, I don’t go out and celebrate, because there are so many other things to accomplish and what if others think of me as arrogant…
Sounds familiar? So how do we let go of this and be kinder to ourselves? Here is what I learned on how to tackle this along the way.
Tell yourself that even if you do fail at something, you are not a failure. You’re just someone who didn’t get it right this time. I also allow myself to take a step back and to do something that I truly enjoy. Like watching an episode of a tv show, reading a book or hang out with friends and then after that or the next day, pick up where I’ve left off.
Allow yourself to be happy about your accomplishments and celebrate yourself, in whatever way suits you. The people who matter to you will be eager to celebrate with you. So have that living-room dance party, go out for dinner or treat yourself on a self-care day!
Own up to yourself. Being confident doesn’t mean being arrogant. You can be good at what you do and share your knowledge, without bragging about it. Knowing what you bring to the table and how you can add value, is not arrogance, but well-deserved confidence.
Let me be clear, I’m still a work in progress and I believe I will always be. But reminding myself of these things and looking differently at words as ‘kindness’, ‘failure’, ‘arrogance’ and ‘confidence’ have really opened up my perspectives and changed my mindset. And I know this will be the case for you too. So allow yourself to be kind to yourself!
