Perfection, something almost everyone strives to be or do. We all want to excel at something and we all want the things we do, or even who we are, to be (perceived as) perfect. But what is perfection anyway? What might be perfect to me, might not be perfect to you. It is subjective, it’s often in the eye of the beholder.
To me, my need to excel and to be perfect at what I’m doing, has held me back for a long time. I didn’t dare to act on my wishes or dreams, because I thought my take on it or my execution wouldn’t be perfect. Instead of going out and taking action I stayed in this comfortable place of not doing anything at all, while thinking off all the things I wanted to do. If only I could be perfect at it... And let me tell you, this comfy place and putting things off doesn’t magically lead you to perfection.
I guess we all know that perfection isn’t a realistic thing to strive for. Often it holds us back and limits our potential. After all, learning, improving and continuing to show up, is way more important than ‘perfection’. At least, when I look at others, that’s what impresses me. And I’m more attracted to people who dare to put themselves out there and be vulnerable, then to those who think everything has to be perfect.
So I decided to change my approach to perfection and stepped out of my comfort zone. Here’s what helped me along the way.
Envision what would be the worst case scenario. This really helped me a lot. Every time I want to bring something of myself out into the world (and I’m noticing I’d rather not do it because it’s not yet perfect), I ask myself “what would be the worst that could happen?”. And as long as none of these scenarios involve, death, losing my home, hurting others, not being able to buy food, I’m good. And I will take the risk.
Talk about it. First of all, when you say things out loud it takes away some of the fear you’ve build up in your head. Because in your mind, things often seem scarier. Also, when you speak to someone about it (a good friend, your partner, someone you trust or even a stranger), you connect on a deeper level. You often will hear that you’re not alone in this. That they can relate and feel the same way.
See it as a learning experience instead of a need to perform. Someone I met in my coaching course, recently told me this. She mentioned that whenever fear of failure and of not being perfect came up, she would change her perspective. From needing to perform (perfectly) to seeing it as a learning experience. This gives you permission to not be perfect and to make mistakes, from which you then will learn.
Collect no’s. This was actually an exercise that my coach suggested to me. Go out there and collect as many no’s as you can. In the beginning it’s really uncomfortable and you’ll feel like you’ve failed when you indeed receive a no. But along the way you get accustomed to it. It will change the way you look at it and it will change the weightiness of a ‘rejection’.
And above all, don’t underestimate who you already are. Be grateful for who you are in this moment and go from this place. You are perfectly imperfect!
If you have any lessons or thoughts around perfection, please let me know in the comments. I would love to hear them and, of course, I’m always open to improving myself ;)
